


until the storm has passed

by fracturedvaels



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Death of a Parent, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 07:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4598967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fracturedvaels/pseuds/fracturedvaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke, after the funeral.</p>
            </blockquote>





	until the storm has passed

**Author's Note:**

> for arvi. what a babe.

The rain starts sometime after the service ends.

Eoghan is meant to be handling affairs. Instead he’s shuffling off with half of his mother’s ashes, wondering exactly how you’re supposed to divide remains. Bodies shouldn’t be an inheritance, and yet… But Carver deserves this, too; he didn’t even get to say goodbye. and he’ll go for months after this, thinking Mother is still alive, thinking she’ll be there next time he returns to Kirkwall.

Eoghan should be the one to write the letter. Instead, he lets Gamlen do it. He anticipates a response that will be nothing but bitter disappointment, but those likely hurtful words are still spaced by a yet-uncrossable gap. There is nothing he wants more than to traverse the divide that time has dug and comfort someone who doesn’t know they need comfort yet.

Instead he sits, uselessly, and alone, with a half-full urn at his feet.

it’s an hour of quiet, staring at the fire. Eoghan had been to many funerals in Lothering and Amaranthine, but always for… older people. Mother was older, but she wasn’t _old_. Everyone he’d seen put to the pyre had died of natural causes, or had been sick.

It was different, with Mother. As it had been with Bethany, and even then they were so unlike each other. Bethany was surely ash and dust, now, after Eoghan had used magefire to light her up. They hadn’t stuck around to watch her burn, only to make sure that she would; they refused to let the darkspawn have her remains.

But with mother, he had a tangible piece. More than the scarf Carver wore around his wrist; with mother, he had the warmth from her cremains. Not the comforting warmth she’d always held, but a hurting warmth, a warning warmth. Once they cooled, that would be the last time she was warm again.

Eoghan was so deep in his macabre thoughts he barely heard the soft knock at his door. He offered an ‘mmm’ in response, expecting it to be Orana or Bodahn or Sandal; instead, he heard a soft, ‘Hawke?’ and turned to see Sebastian.

Of course it would be Sebastian. He’d helped Eoghan, in the last week, doing what Hawke couldn’t and making the arrangements. All Eoghan had had to do was sign his own name, not that he could really manage that.

Sebastian wasn’t in his usual armor or the clothes he often wore to visit the Hawke estate. He wore his robes, damp from the rain outside, and was only just pulling off the hood of them as he stepped gingerly across the threshold. Sebastian had been to Eoghan’s room many times before, but always for visits of a more… personal nature. Stolen kisses and napping together and things like that. Never while Eoghan felt so stripped.

“I thought,” he started, pausing just past the door. He seemed to have done his own crying; hadn’t they all? Leandra had brought Eoghan’s friends into her home many times before. She was important to them all. of course they would mourn her.

“I thought I might… come see you,” Sebastian shuffled nervously, still playing with his own hands. “I figured - I don’t know. Maybe I could check on you…”

Eoghan stood while Sebastian was speaking. He had a yearning, suddenly; not a lustful one or even a romantic one, but the desperate need to hold onto something solid lest he slip away just like his mother. On shaky legs he walked, crossing the room far quicker than he’d have liked to. Either Sebastian didn’t notice his frantic pace or he had tact enough not to comment or try to withdraw.

Eoghan’s legs gave out on him just steps before he reached Sebastian, and he fell to his knees, gasping and heaving and choking on sobs. Sebastian finally stepped into the room fully, likely intending to come to his aid; but once he was within arm’s reach Eoghan latched onto him, pulling him in and pressing his face against Sebastian’s stomach.

The fabric of his robe was chilly from the dampness, but there was a warmth behind it, a softness that made it easy to feel vulnerable and cry. Sebastian didn’t push Eoghan away or try to stop him; he threaded his fingers through Eoghan’s thick, dark hair, and said, quietly, “Oh, love…”

Not a sensual breath, not words heavy with want, but ones soaking in sorrow. When Eoghan collected himself enough to lean away, head bowed and face wet, Sebastian knelt down in front of him. He took Eoghan’s face into his hands; he did not cry himself, nor did he attempt to soothe him with an ill-placed smile or hollow Chantry-brand comfort.

Selfishly, forgetting himself, Eoghan longed to ask if Sebastian even understood what it felt like. To lose almost all of his family like this, to essentially be alone. But for Sebastian it wasn’t _essentially_ , it wasn’t  _almost_ , it _was_. He caught his tongue before he could lash out - of course Sebastian understood. It wasn’t like how Varric understood; his mother had gotten sick and passed on slowly. It hurt, but it wasn’t the same. And Aveline’s father, as far as he knew, had done the same. Eoghan knew the pain of watching a parent waste away, but he hadn’t known the pain of having one stolen.

It was cruel, to be grateful he had someone else who did. It was cruel to be grateful that he wasn’t alone in that. But he kept his words to himself and let Sebastian pull him in, responding by holding Sebastian close and hiding his face against Sebastian’s neck as Sebastian played with his hair.

It didn’t make things okay. It fixed nothing. But there was warmth there, a warmth that Eoghan had wanted for a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> check out http://liviuserimond.tumblr.com/ if you, too, physically cannot shut the fuck up about dragon age


End file.
